Speemen Left Holding Bag In Mysterious Mascot Theft

Help wanted signs were hung out yesterday by local lawmen as the case of the disappearing Spee bear moved into its fifth day with no clues at all yet available.

The animal, a common Black Bear or Euarctus Americans, formerly inhabited the Spee clubhouse, where he had stood for many years as a combination bar and hatrack in the front hall. He was last seen there late Friday night, highball in paw.

The disappearance of the mascot is the second kidnapping case reported within a week, as band members are still searching for their stolen mystery pet, Six-da" reportedly abducted by a local brewery for dire purposes.