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Harvard Quietly Resolves Anti-Palestinian Discrimination Complaint With Ed. Department
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Harvard Outsources Program to Identify Descendants of Those Enslaved by University Affiliates, Lays Off Internal Staff
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Harvard Medical School Cancels Class Session With Gazan Patients, Calling It One-Sided
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Garber Privately Tells Faculty That Harvard Must Rethink Messaging After GOP Victory
With red lights flickering and gongs clanging, University Hall's immensely efficient International Business Machines ground to a halt last night, spewing forth the last set of unimpeachable mid-term grade sheets for moist-palmed and dyspeptic undergraduates.
Simultaneously, Sargent Kennedy, '28, registrar, announced that all College students will be able to pocket their "little white slips" by appearing in Memorial Hall today. The A's through the K's will be welcome from 11 to 1 o'clock, all others from 2 to 4 o'clock.
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