Timid Gridman Leaves Puckered-up Star Unrequited on Orpheum Stage

Esther Williams may not be sixteen--she didn't mention her age--but she still hasn't been kissed, at least not by Harvard footballer Jack Guidera.

It is a long trip from Miss Williams' California swimming pool to the bone dry stage of the Loews Orpheum Theatre, and she made the trek just to be kissed. Previously she had been bussed 'by a downy-cheeked youth from Tufts, and even as Guidera was leaving, a somewhat abashed lad in a B.U. emblazoned sweater was espied wandering about in the lobby of Mr. Goldwyn's entertainment emporium.

Esther called on the Crimson end "spontaneously" from the audience to play a love scene with her. The brown-haired, hazel-eyed movie star, whose more delicate dimensions, measuring from top to bottom are 36 inches, 26 inches, and 36 inches, instructed Guidera that all he had to do was to say "No"--up to a point. However, Guidera displayed himself to be no discerner of such fine points.

For the benefit of posterity, the scene is reproduced with stenographic accuracy. Miss Williams speaks first.

"Darling, it's been so long. Can't we let bygones be bygones?"

"No."

"Don't you ever think of me?"

"No."

"Didn't something chemical happen to you, too"

"No."

"But darling, I love you. Please tell me we can be close."

"No."

"Kiss me."

"Aah no."

It is going to be an even longer trip back to that California swimming pool