News

Penny Pritzker Says She Has ‘Absolutely No Idea’ How Trump Talks Will Conclude

News

Harvard Researchers Find Executive Function Tests May Be Culturally Biased

News

Researchers Release Report on People Enslaved by Harvard-Affiliated Vassall Family

News

Zusy Seeks First Full Term for Cambridge City Council

News

NYT Journalist Maggie Haberman Weighs In on Trump’s White House, Democratic Strategy at Harvard Talk

Dartmouth's Air Forces Will Raid Yard at Noon

By Mister X

Mister "X" and his photographer are CRIMSON members. They went to Hanover posing as New York reporters and returned with this story.

Robustly healthy and looking for action, 2500 Dartmouths begin to pour out of Hanover today in a steady stream towards Boston. They are not coming here just to see a football game. They have a top secret plan of operations against Harvard; the program is:

1. At noon today a light plane, piloted by an editor of the Daily Dartmouth, will fly over the Harvard Yard and drop a load of toilet paper. The plane was used yesterday for aiding fire-fighters in New Hampshire, so plans may be subject to change, but if you don't see it today, expect it tomorrow.

2. At 5 o'clock a small group of Dartmouths, disguised as ordinary laborers, will walk into Dillon Field House and attempt to steal Crimson jerseys or any other Harvard athletic uniforms they can lay hands on.

(In tomorrow's CRIMSON, Mr. X will reveal what the Dartmouths plan to do with these uniforms.)

3. From 6 to 11 o'clock the majority of the 2500 will retire to Scollay Square for fun. They will rotate groups in and out of the Casino and Old Howard.

After the group has finished with "fun," they will receive instructions from the ringleaders, namely persons on the Jack-o-Lantern, or Dartmouth.

These instructions call for the following infiltrations into Harvard Square and vicinity.

a. At least 20 Dartmouth Freshmen, invading the dorms, in complete Indian costume. Their main purpose will be diversionary for a larger and stronger group

Want to keep up with breaking news? Subscribe to our email newsletter.

Tags