News
Summers Will Not Finish Semester of Teaching as Harvard Investigates Epstein Ties
News
Harvard College Students Report Favoring Divestment from Israel in HUA Survey
News
‘He Should Resign’: Harvard Undergrads Take Hard Line Against Summers Over Epstein Scandal
News
Harvard To Launch New Investigation Into Epstein’s Ties to Summers, Other University Affiliates
News
Harvard Students To Vote on Divestment From Israel in Inaugural HUA Election Survey
The al fresco soiree that was Hallowe'en isn't the funfest figured on by preadolescents, serious Cantabrigians concluded early yesterday morning. Harvard Square merchants, who have been dishing out much soft soap these past months, found the tables turned.
One rate entrepreneur, dealing in used clothing, second-hand furniture, and dog-eared foreign manuscripts, was heard from behind his encased cash box: My business is raised. To get the soap off a then windows it mean washing 'em, and who come into Harry's Equity Shoppe if it's got clean windows?"
Things were considerably worse at the Library of the Museum of Comparative Zoology, where, it is reported, Mrs. Siy, the early-shift char, came in to find a femur of the long-jawed dactyl bearing the legend: "Lamarck was here." At the Jefferson Physic Laboratory, a freckle-faced bootblack was captured brining a candle at both ends and rapidly making calculations.
All in all, one of Cambridge's Finest confided, it was a tough night. While Mephistophelean revelry generally remained under control, scattered calls created considerable havee to the tower regions," he declaimed.
Want to keep up with breaking news? Subscribe to our email newsletter.