SPECIALISTS' CORNER

I have the sensation of a submarine which has just had a depth charge dropped off its port bow. "Indignant, nay Apoplectic '45" (see "The Mail" in last Tuesday's issue) has exposed me as being in the pay of the Yale News. (I wonder who read the SERVICE NEWS to my little correspondent, anyway.)

Well, having been flushed to the surface, I might as well sing, spill the goods, come clean. Here's the full inside story, and the SERVICE NEWS is beating Pegler, Clapper, and Drew Pearson to it: Yale men have secretly banded together in order to wipe out for once and for all the Crimson Menace. Operating strictly under order from the Blue Square in New Haven, I revealed the intolerable conditions in the Ha'v'd Ya'd and got a DSC and a shiny new yo-yo from the PBY committee (Pour le Bettrement de Yale), Fifth Column Division.

Yale Under-cover Work

The Connecticut anti-Cantabrigians are preparing to strike while an international diversion is being created by Adolf H. Schickelgruber (Harvard '09) and Prince Hirohito (Princeton '22). Midnight meetings at the base of John Harvard's statue have resulted in the formulation of irrepressible strategy. The invaders will arrive by sleeper on the New Haven Railroad, augmented by a sea force which will land in Boston Harbor in a flotilla of 8-oar shells and make rendezvous at H-hour minus 10 in the Park Street subway station. (Any local Elis and Harvard Quislings wishing to contribute fare may send their dimes to D-41 McKinlock).

Take warning, Harvard! There's only one way to save yourselves. Let's get together and gang up on Princeton!

Remember the valiant 1st Platoon softball team that singed the grass of Soldiers Field with such scintillation all summer? Sad to relate, it's practically non-existent now. No less than 5 members of that intrepid crew got axed by the academic department, which, with an eye to niceties, neatly amputated the battery and outfield. Feeling that it would look silly with just the infield out there, the team has broken up and is now in the process of becoming stronger and stronger as its exploits pass from one tongue to another. A month from now you'll hear about the time that we topped the Red Sox with a 7-run rally in the fifth.

McKinlock Hall is a hotbed of rumor just now. Reason: we're almost at the end of our first term. The juicier rumors are reproduced below:

1--We get a furlough.

2--No furlough. (For some reason, this is not a popular one).

3--Furlough starts September 4.

4--Furlough starts September 3.

5.--Furlough starts September 2.

6.--Furlough should have started July 25, but the First Service Command forgot all about it. As an old time sergeant-major I indorse this one as highly probable.