THE HARVARD SCUTTLEBUTT

Dear Readers;

All of you are accustomed to seeing this column start out with "Dear Tula", for that is the regular writer's one and only thought these days. In fact, Melvin Parnell, "Flotsam and Jetsam" originator and penman, has done such a good job of writing these letters to Tula that things have begin to happen fast and furiously. Tula is no longer in far away Chicago, but right here in Cambridge.

Frankly, I am not sure whether the charm of the letter enticed her to come for romantic reasons, or whether she just took a quick trip to Harvard to check up on some of the tall stories she had read penned herein.

Yes, she found most everything to be true--except Melvin. She learned that he had marched in the same parade with the Radcliffe WAVES, and he had not told her. Oh, we I, such Infidelity does not seem to bother Tula. For they are being married tonight (Friday) here in Cambridge. The 72 hours granted for such an occasion have been carefully planned out by the happy couple.

Destination Restricted

Of course it is a secret where they are going. Mel wouldn't dare tell any of his "thoughtful" friends this dark secret--not since he heard what the Smith boys of Company C did to their "dear" name. sake, Hollister Smith, on the latter's wedding night several weeks ago.. The boys were so solicitous of Hollister's welfare that they called him long distance--Cambridge to New York City--just to ask him how he was. He mumbled an "all right" from his hotel room in New York and hung up. It is even rumored that the charges were reversed.

So Mel will not divulge his plans, but talk has it that he won't be far outside the 50 mile limit--in fact, at a famous honeymoon lodge on a well known "Cape not far away. On second thought, no one could possibly bother him during the weekend--for the place is over 50 miles from this station, and none of our boys ever go that far. (The Regimental Officer keeps telling himself). So Mel, since we can not go with you, we wish you good luck and all the happiness you so well deserve.

I have finally found a good use for C.I Long ago I stopped reading it, the feeling that anything I read would be far out of date; being superceded by C.C.T.D.B.P.I or NIPK or something. But now I have found a good use for this big thick book. C.I.

It is just the right thickness to sit on when you are using the typewriter in your room. With these high desks one needs something to give him a lift. just try it; you will see I am right--that is, you men who can find your C.I. under all that dust.

It seems the Welfare and Recreation committee is a little worried about who will be the honored guests at this month's regimental ball. We find ourselves with no legitimate graduating class in July--just odds and ends. A part of one company here, a part of another there. In fact, the staff is concerned over having no one to hand diplomas to.

Honors Proposed

This writer suggests we make it a "staff" month. The staff could be given diplomas at a formal exercise. (It might be well if they had proof that they had at least been over the subject mater they are teaching.) And then the staff could give the ball and invite all the student, officers to come an enjoy it-gratis.

The last Alnav certainly did brighten up things around here. The new gold braid is really blinding.

Hurry back Mel, I have run out of ideas!