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Now that the HARVARD SERVICE NEWS has extended its publication to semi-weekly proportion, it seems that each Friday I am to be given the opportunity of expressing certain of my reactions to life, liberty and the pursuit of Ensigns who have failed to certify their copies to be true. Also, all news items, advice-to-the-lovelorn (with reservations, of course) and et cetera, are to be handled and mishandled here.
Thus my first endeavor is addressed to that rapidly diminishing group of officers who have fought their way through the lures and traps of designing sirens and are still broadcasting on a single frequency.
Stop, Look, Listen
A word of advice, sirs: BEWARE! The very sanctity of your singleness is being apprehended. For as sure as Rand follows Remington, your chances of coming through this Cambridge conflict maritally unscathed are diminishing.
I have seen strong minded, determined women-haters melt into the love-mellowed spectacle of a grinning newlywed. And why? Simply because of unpreparedness. "Know your protagonist" to paraphrase a current war-poster, that's part of the answer. You too can suffer your own personal Pearl Harbor. This dissertation is designed to fill in the gaps and to cover your Achilles Heel with moral mortar.
The next time you attend a dance, notice what has happened to the stage line. It's gone. That's what's happened. And in its place, lathes and blow torches left behind, are lined the female counter-part of the pre-war wolf. Pretty? Oh, yes! - Good dancer? By all means! Intelligent? Foxy's the word, son. God conversationalist? She can tell you all about additional allowances!
You see a cute brunette. You ask her to dance. She accepts with a charming smile and a "lasso" gleam. Now try to get rid of her for that terrific blonde who just walked in. See what I mean? It's a little more difficult than Radar, isn't it? There, you can always turn the dial or something--but now you'se stuck. Congress says so.
And So It Goes
Next comes the inevitable dinner invitation. "Mother would be so-o-o glad to have you..." and all that! This is the "home atmosphere approach" most dangerous to men from California, Washington and similar distances away. The farther from Boston you come, the longer you've been away from home, the more vulnerable you are to this method of attack.
And so it goes. Officers come and officers go, but how many are going to go as they came...alone? That's the question.
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