SCUTTLEBUTT

A certain eminent and well-known gentleman in our company is the only officer among as who arrived at Harvard with no previous naval experience or training. So some solicitous, salt-encrusted shipmates have prepared for him a glossary of nautical terms which they guarantee will make his first cruise a breeze, if not a gale. Naturally, much of this is classified material, but an abridged version is here set forth:

Binnacle list: extent the ship tilts due to the binnacles on its bottom.

Junk: Chinese ships of yore or Japanese fleet of the future.

Buoy: a member of the Navy who lied about his age when enlisting.

Mast: Sunday church services.

Collision mat: a pad the crew sleeps on after the ship has had an accident.

Bow: what the crew does when the admiral comes aboard.

Stern: expression on the face of the captain during action.

Ladder: any fool knows what a ladder is--no need to explain it to you.

Scuttlebutt: believe it or not, a drinking fountain (so the rumor goes).

Forecastle: the captain's palace.

Port: not like the sherry you get at McBride's.

Holy stone: archaic nautical oath.

Abaft: what you cling to after abandoning ship.

Boom: what the main battery goes.

Irish pennant: a belligerent green flag.

Freshen the nip: pour yourself another.

Luff: tender Swedish emotion.

Turn turtle: reincarnation.

Furl: to thwart in Brooklyn.

Davy Jones' Locker: Mr. Lashman says you're one up on a cat--have ten chances for it.