STUDENTS TURN TO LOWLY BEER AS SCOTCH, GIN LOSE GROUND

Students are drinking more beer and less hard liquor, according to George O'Brien, firewater dispenser at the Harvard Provision Company, who said that the trend had been apparent for the last few years, and was intensified by the war. Alcoholic dispensaries around the Square confirm O'Brien's statement almost without exception.

Harvard's immortal punch-mixer, Snowball Anderson, disagreed with these reports. He was shocked severely by the statement that Harvard was becoming a beer-college like Dartmouth.

"I maintain that the boys here still like their scotch and soda, as they have since the days of bathtub-gin," Snowball insisted. "They may be buying more beer, but they still consume their scotch."

Snowball referred to some of the more rousing festivities of the year, where he had Oscarized, such as the Lampoon Christmas Party or the Advocate orgy. "They didn't drink beer there," he said, "or maybe I was under the bar too."

Janitors Side With O'Brien

James C. Yule, janitor of Kirkland, is confounded by mildness of the House inmates. "I don't know what's the matter with boys," he reported, "they aren't like they used to be. I hardly see a bottle around here anymore."

"Archy" of Adams thinks the boys haven't the money to buy any hard liquor these days, especially on account of the war and the high price. "The war has made them a little more sober minded," he said.

One Reports More Hard Liquor

Leverett's Bill Keane reports that his House turns out more bottles every morning than it used to. He doesn't see it go in, but the bottles come out at the rate of about ten per morning during quite days, and after parties, in unlimited quantities.