THE CRIME

Rumor has it that the social life of the Harvard man is about to be simplified for one of these all-inclusive valet organizations in the Square has turned its attention to the duty-dance question. To preserve etiquette around Boston, this firm feels that a gentleman should have the assurance that these sordid experiences have a satisfactory remedy. They are seriously debating organizing a cut in service which would work as follows.

The name of each debutante would be posted on a bulletin board in much the same manner that stock exchange quotations are listed. Opposite each name would appear a price, varying from $.25 to $4.00. By paying the requested sum, a customer could dance with the girl and know that within a very few minutes, the evening would be endurable. Two groups of debutantes would not be priced, however. Those who spend the evening in the midst of a riot will bear the simple legend, "a safe bet" while those who find solitude their best companion, will be tagged, "No bids accepted."

Not only would this scheme make social life more pleasant, but it would supply an effective barometer of the season. Imagine one's delight if he could check on a strange invitation and learn of the $4.00 listing in time to send a sincere and thankful regret.