Cradles Robbed as 'Poonkids Try to Stay Under Draft Age

The Presidential threat to draft 18 and 19-year-olds was taken quite coolly by the childish Lampoon staff, according to the usual unreliable sources from the Bow Corner dive. "Few of our significant members are over 17," Oliver E. Allen '43 (social), unclassified (academic), president, announced last night at a poorly attended press conference.

"Selected younger candidates will be added to Lampy's large-scale draft-dodging scheme," Eric Larrabee '43, secretary, added. "Partiality to 4-F's is already the guiding rule in choosing members of this immature joke-sheet." Speedball O'Shaughnessy of De Wolfe Street, long the official bootblack for the Ibis-nest adolescents, is being groomed for the presidency, according to a current rumor, but this was vigorously denied by Michael J. Sullivan.