News

Garber Privately Tells Faculty That Harvard Must Rethink Messaging After GOP Victory

News

Cambridge Assistant City Manager to Lead Harvard’s Campus Planning

News

Despite Defunding Threats, Harvard President Praises Former Student Tapped by Trump to Lead NIH

News

Person Found Dead in Allston Apartment After Hours-Long Barricade

News

‘I Am Really Sorry’: Khurana Apologizes for International Student Winter Housing Denials

Sorrowing Lampoon Editors Destroy Latest Brainchild

NO WRITER ATTRIBUTED

Billows of acrid smoke pouring from the "triangular slice of Gothic whimsey" on Mount Auburn Street, more commonly known as "the Lampoon's architectural miscarriage" nauseated passers-by and unfortunate residents of Adams House late last night.

Although 'Poousters insisted that it was just another bi-weekly fumigation, the real story leaked out when funnyman Summer Andrews '42 was overheard muttering to himself, "Thank God, now it's all burned up." Evidently the final remnants of their slightly bilious parody issue.

But the conflagration got out of control and was licking hungrily at the tail-feathers of one of the stuffed pelicans that haunt the curie grotto. In the nick of time Coles Phinizy '42, head comie, cantered to the rescue armed with an old pewter tankard (dated at least 1639) and avowed its contents onto the flames, which immediately went out.

Want to keep up with breaking news? Subscribe to our email newsletter.

Tags