Bedbugs Disregard Rule Banning Pets

Caravans of bedbugs have been roaming through the South Entry of Matthews Hall for the past few days in direct defiance to one of the major parietal rules which forbids students to keep animals in their rooms.

The bugs, which are small and of a reddish, hue, disappear during the day but at night pay calls to the Yardlings in their beds. Many of the students have taken kindly to the little things, but one Freshman, tired of squirming in his bed all night has recently left Matthews in high dudgeon and taken up residence at Apley Court.