NOBODY HERE BUT US TURKEYS, BOSS

Ninety-five per cent of the newspapers commenting editorially on That Man's reelection said that regardless of race, creed, or how much dough we lost on the election, Americans must "close ranks," as they boldly phrased it. This is no time they said, for squabbling. Republicans and Democrats alike, we must bury the hatchet--preferably not in each others' necks.

Yet there is one towering issue which threatens to undermine national morale and unity in a time of crisis--the Thanksgiving Day question. On November 21 the inhabitants of 32 states will sit down to turkey dinners in obedience to the President's proclamation. Sixteen states, the ill-fed third of the nation (and that means all of New England) will dine simply that day on roast duck and truffles, and will celebrate Thanksgiving a week later.

What will Mussolini and Hitler think of this? Obviously they will seize on this patent evidence of disunity and invade the United States--presumably on November 21, when all good New Dealers are sleeping it off under the table and the Republicans are sulking in their root cellars.

There is no time for delay. We need a Unity dinner. True Blue Harold Ickes and Styles Bridges must meet on neutral ground and tear into a turkey together. Dorothy must be there to provide her own inimitable brand of cranberry sauce, and General Johnson to dish out the stuffing. And when they're through squabbling over the white meat and have eaten their fill, they can take off their shoes and lie down. That'll show Hitler. That's American Way.