News
Summers Will Not Finish Semester of Teaching as Harvard Investigates Epstein Ties
News
Harvard College Students Report Favoring Divestment from Israel in HUA Survey
News
‘He Should Resign’: Harvard Undergrads Take Hard Line Against Summers Over Epstein Scandal
News
Harvard To Launch New Investigation Into Epstein’s Ties to Summers, Other University Affiliates
News
Harvard Students To Vote on Divestment From Israel in Inaugural HUA Election Survey
In a fitting climax to a busy season of publicity-seeking, members of the Lampoon, college temperance organ, set fire to their fortress and turned in a 4-11 alarm to the Cambridge fire department on Thursday night.
Expecting to see thousands of curious citizens attracted to the scene of the configuration, President E. C. K. "Peggy" Read was disappointed at the small turnout. Posters advertising their latest issue had been glued to the walls of the building, but only a few by-standers noticed the garish broadsides.
Treads on Bottle
Two fire engines arrived at the scene in time to discover small wisps of smoke curling out of the basement window of the Lampoon building. Upon entering the cellar, the smoke-eaters quickly stamped out the blaze. The only casualty suffered occurred when one of the firemen stepped on a discarded gin bottle, slipped, and fell on a beer-can opener.
The fire was reported by Ibis Henry Hayes, who told police that he had been rudely awakened by the smell of smoke. After opening up the cellar for the first time since an Advocate editor was sealed up in the cubicle 16 years ago, Hayes found the blaze.
Suspect Arson
Insurance agents who examined the location of the fire hinted arson, but contemplated no action because of the little damage done. Police were inclined to think that the fire had resulted from spontaneous combustion originating from the organization's library of ancient jokebooks, which are removed from the cellar only eight times a year.
Want to keep up with breaking news? Subscribe to our email newsletter.