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Man Who Managed Clients for High-End Cambridge Brothel Network Pleads Guilty
(Printed with the understanding that the CRIMSON does not endorse, tolerate, or condone any and all sedition, murmur, or grudge herewith published.)
From a course in Wage-Law at Lincoln's Inn,
From expecting Lord Cohen to permit Christ in,
From incredible mixtures of Bourbon and gin,
Preserve us O God and Merriman.
From ever provoking a Coach's wrath,
From brazenly solving a problem in math,
From nodding our head to deans on the path
Preserve us O God and Merriman.
From roasting ourselves on the Eliot Grille
From fighting a Son of Father Sill,
From ever paying a Widener Bill,
Preserve us O God and Merriman.
From Cursing our Conant Plan Grade "B",
From the instructor who averages "C" and "D",
From finding a Yale man in the "Big Tree",
Preserve us O God and Merriman.
From research on whether Queen Bess was virgin,
From humming limericks that end "just emergin'",
From more Scheherazade with Richard Burgin,
Preserve us O God and Merriman.
From Candidate's Meetings, IMPORTANT, at seven,
From swimming a Sperryship into Heaven,
From ransacking Newell for a boy called Levin,
Preserve us O God and Merriman.
From the smallest speak in "Dirty Mary's",
From putting Stock in springtime "bare-ies",
From discovering the earthly side to "faeries",
Preserve us O God and Merriman.
From freely admitting the Wolff to the door,
From a fractured ankle at half past four,
From confusing the word Bull with Conquistador,
Preserve us O God and Merriman.
From risque plays and naughty "lays",
From Friar Bacons and Friar Bungays,
From all untutored and wicked ways,
Preserve us O God and Merriman.
Hic jacet Johannes Harvardies,
Vir honestus, status triplex mendaces,
But truliter requiescat--in paces,
Preserve us O God and Merriman. David Simboli '40.
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