Fanatic Moocher Crashes Gates of Most Deb Parties

Indentity of the Harvard undergraduate who has become known for crashing debutante parties during the past season was discovered recently after a serious investigation. A. Montague Fitzpatrick refused to reveal his class but agreed to disclose some of his favorite tricks for sneaking into champagne-covered dance floors.

"I went to every party that was any good this winter," he boasted, "even though I wasn't invited to any of them. I consider myself rightful holder of the title, 'Boston's most uninvited guest."

Fitzpatrick's first plan of attack is to telephone the hotel or house where the party is being held and question some one in authority as to its worth. He explained that his order of interrogations over the telephone was usually: "Well, how does the party look tonight? How many people are there? Are they serving champagne? And caviar? And how do the women look--pretty good or not so hot?"

Must Have Caviar

Any party which served both champagne and caviar, Fitzpatrick immediately put on his "must" list. Those without caviar, he said, were doubtful and depended on the answer to other questions; and if no champagne at all was present, Fitz finessed. Never did he phone about a party without giving his full name.

"As for methods of getting into those affairs," the noted crasher went on, "I have many. The most embarrassing, of course, is when I have to resort to a butler's uniform and go in through the kitchen."

The best method Fitzpatrick has yet devised is to stagger in with a champagne glass, pretending to be just "one of the boys." When asked what was his most embarrassing moment, the scourge of the pretty debs blushed while admitting that once he cut in on an old man dancing with a "fetching girl robed in white taffeta" (courtesy Betty Alden's column, "On Beacon Hill") and asked her "Who was that old geezer you were dancing with?" The fetching girl etc. responded lightly and politely, "Oh him. He's my father. He's giving the party."

Fitzpatrick explained gloomily that he is at a loss what to do now that the best parties are over. "I certainly can't lower myself to work, so, just between you and me, I'm making plans for crashing a Radcliffe dorm in the near future. It's going to be my greatest achievement."