News

Harvard Medical School Cancels Student Groups’ Pro-Palestine Vigil

News

Former FTC Chair Lina Khan Urges Democrats to Rethink Federal Agency Function at IOP Forum

News

Cyanobacteria Advisory Expected To Lift Before Head of the Charles Regatta

News

After QuOffice’s Closure, Its Staff Are No Longer Confidential Resources for Students Reporting Sexual Misconduct

News

Harvard Still On Track To Reach Fossil Fuel-Neutral Status by 2026, Sustainability Report Finds

SAGE BLESSES ELEVEN, SAYS "HARLOWED BY THY NAME"

By Hu FLUNG Huey

CAMBRIDGE, Nov. 17 (WUPS)--"Urban thinking it over," said You Foo Too, "and I say the outlook is Piretti Sauer for the Wildcats."

"A Burtt in the hand is worth two in the Budzianowski," countered the Sage. "With Torbie Hanlon the ball, it'll be a cinch for the Crimson. And that's not sheer Flaherty."

"It's a matter of cause and Fecke," said his friend, "but I predict Harvard 1492, New Hampshire 0."

"You Vander Eb your cake and eat it too," thundered Huey. "The team may be as good as Gould, but Alimi to state that it will be Harvard 32, New Hampshire 0. By the way, who was that Lacy I seen you with last night?"

"That was no Lacy; that was my Poplawski."

Want to keep up with breaking news? Subscribe to our email newsletter.

Tags