RADIATORS 'PUT THE FREEZE' ON CHILLY HOUSE DENIZENS

Undergraduates quivered and quaked in their dormitory cubicles over the weekend while the windows rattled in the blasts of an icy October wind that sent the mercury skidding to the bottom. The radiators in the Houses likewise remained cold.

Janitors defended themselves stoutly against the rumblings of undergraduate discontent, declaring that the "college is not cheating on the heat," and pointed out that the reason students are cold in their rooms is because they don't turn on the radiators.

Meanwhile upperclassmen huddled in groups to keep warm, and studied in their overcoats. Hot water bottles have been whipped into service, and there has been a run on all available firewood. Student circulation began to rise last night, however, when several radiators in Lowell House dehydrated to the tempo of loud clanks.