FOURTHS FOR THE FIREWORKS

With the Fourth of July just around the corner, it is high time that steps were taken to really celebrate the birthday of the United States. Away with picnicking, motoring, listening to political rallies, holding family reunions, and other more or less painful ways of getting killed! Let Mallinckrodt Laboratory step into the breach by advocating something for the Mallinckrodtians to advocate. What will it be? Why, let the Mallinckrodtians advocate fireworks!

This is Mallinckrodt's big chance to redeem itself in Harvard eyes--not by raising its usual stink, but by helping the coming Fourth of July to go over with a bang. Let Mallinckrodt's explosives budget be increased greatly. Some of the $2.34 left over from the Nieman Fund might perhaps be sacrificed for this purpose. Or the Laboratory might lay off a man in the Department of Nauseating Odors, thereby saving over $1.39 in adjustable clothespins. With all this money at their disposal, Mallinckrodt should be able to get off a real killer of a firecracker.

Students here think that would be just swell.