News

Harvard Grad Union Agrees To Bargain Without Ground Rules

News

Harvard Chabad Petitions to Change City Zoning Laws

News

Kestenbaum Files Opposition to Harvard’s Request for Documents

News

Harvard Agrees to a 1-Year $6 Million PILOT Agreement With the City of Cambridge

News

HUA Election Will Feature No Referenda or Survey Questions

NO CHECKEE -- NO SHIRTEE CRYSTAL BALLEE ALL DIRTEE

By Hu FLUNG Huey

Lord have Marcy on our souls. Welch, Welch, it'll be some Track meet tonight. Gammons one, Gammons Olive you, every last one.

Last year one runner suddenly yelled, "Haydock, my Foote hurts. Ring you fix it cause I can Harding run and I want to Pettingell later tonight. Woodland you'd do something about it!"

The Sage of the Age doesn't know much about track anyway, but his adviser, No Foo Lin says with Cornell, Dartmouth, Harvard, and Yale competing the scores will be 34, 32, 27, and 24. Pick your own winners. Them's the scores and he's Allen for tonight.

Want to keep up with breaking news? Subscribe to our email newsletter.

Tags