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Chewing a cigar, shaving, and saying "hot-cha-cha-cha" all at the same time may be hard for modest people, but not for Jimmy "Schnozzle" Durante for that was just what he was doing in his dressing room at the Colonial Theatre last night ten minutes before the curtain for "Red, Hot, and Blue" went up and the Crimson reporter walked in on him.
"Why I pay those guys 250 bucks apicco every week just to get gags for my radio script", Jimmy said as he wiped a wandering smear of soap from the end of his proboscis, "and do you know what they do? Why they just subcirbe to college magazines and cut out the jokes. It's colossal, that's what it is, colossal!" Although the star of Cole Porter's latest show admitted he had read lots of these he had never seen a copy of the "Lampoon", but this was explained when he said that he only read the funny ones.
"College, oh it's great thing. I envy every one of you. You're lucky, that's what, you are, lucky. Why I went to work when I was thirteen. I pounded the piano at cheap dives on Coney Island, and say, did you know I pounded the piano one place and Eddie Cantor was a singing waiter?"
By this time Schnozzle had completed his toilet and was standing clothed in practically nothing but his nose while he talked about "Red, Hot, and Blue" which he thinks will run for some time on Broadway. "I like to play with Ethel Merman, who wouldn't? And say, if you come to see the show Friday or Saturday, you'll hear her sing one swell song. It's called "In the Depths on the Ninetieth Floor" and is the torch song to replace "Bad Influence".
"Next week we play New Haven, that's a college town too, you know. They'll like the show there cause there's no stay stuff I nit, it's plenty rugged. As Jimmy adjusted has polo had and took his place on the stage for the first number he concluded. "The song that'll be most popular is my "I'm About To Become A Mother", hot-cha-cha-cha."
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