Apted Reminisces on 30 to 60 Tons of Junk Left in Yard by Outgoing Freshmen at End of year

According to Charles R. (Clonel Break-It-Up) Apted '06, superintendent of care-takers par excellence, between 30 and 60 tons of "junk" were removed from dormitories in the Yard last spring between the time the Freshman Class vacated the promises and the members of 1910, the reining aggregation, took up residence.

This figured out per resident in the Yard would mean that each man left behind him between 75 and 150 pounds of miscellaneous waste material.

Queried about the type of material, the Colonel was rather silent, mentioning only "broken bottles, lamp shades, old clothes, papers, and odds, and ends, But not any money, not enough for a cup of coffee."

A more loquacious member of the janitorial staff, queried about the situation, came out with starting facts. "You say Mr. Apted says 30, 60 tons. Well, he's about right. Enough tutoring school notes to fill a truck came out of this building every year, I should say. Two years ago, I got two good suits fellers had left. One time some boy left a snake in a cage in his room; we didn't find it for three or four days I guess, because it was pretty near dead. We didn't know what to do with it, so we called up the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals and they sent a truck out and took it away.

"But it makes an awful lot of work. Barrels and barrels of the stuff have to be carried out. Broken dishes, soiled underpants, telephone books, odds of food, hundreds of wire coat hangers, and milk bottles. Speaking of bottles, enough empty booze bottles of to supply an army. And the fellers have good taste in liquor for the most part. They run to pretty good whiskies, lots of Black and White, Haig and Haig, and Jameson a little too much cheap stuff, perhaps. As far as gins goes, they get in poor stuff, but there is a goodly quantity of London dry.

Another Janitor, outside of the Yard, in one of the Houses, had a somewhat different story to tell. He claimed that there was not so much stuff because lots of the men had their rooms the next year and thus didn't throw away much. "But as far pictures." he said. "I've got a whole collection of these things which were left behind. Lots of foreign posters, a good many etchings, and a lot of cheaper stuff the bar room scenes and murals."