Cambridge Purchases Six Horses to Quell Mad Escapades of Rampaging Harvard Nincompoops

Cambridge isn't going to take any chances with the "foolish, rampaging, nitwit Harvard students who break out into a riot now and then." The City Council voted unanimously to add to its list of stalwarts, six of the finest horses that money can buy, and if that doesn't fix those naughty boys, then nothing ever will.

Sometime this spring, or perhaps not until next year, when the students' begin to tire of the ordinary run of existence and gather in crowds on the streets, there will come marching down the avenue a parade that would do any righteous man's heart good. For there, mounted on the sleekest of bays, all ready for a fight, will be a squadron of Cambridge's finest.

Councilman Charles B. Shea introduced the measure at the last meeting of the council, and at first was met only with ridicule. But a loyal supporter, one J. Gordon Duffy, saw the light, but changed Shea's motion. Shea had asked for twelve horses, but that was too much. Six would be plenty. Six it was, and six it will be.

Of course the horses will be used in any other disturbances that may arise in the normally peaceful town of Cambridge, but the primary purpose is to quell any uprising of the students. The whole affair started because of the water-throwing contest which went on in Plympton Street last Thursday evening. During the brawl some indignant townspeople were drenched by the torrents pouring out of the windows.

Mayor Russell couldn't be contacted last night on the subject of the new addition to the police force, but it was understood from people close to His Honor that he contemplates using the nags in parades.

Now that the Cambridge police have adopted the traditional method of putting down rebellions, speculation was rife concerning the probability of seeing Colonel Apted mounted on a spirited plug in the near future. What the consequence of such a change in tactics would be no one dared surmise, but rumor had it that the Chief was polishing his boots.