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During the centuries there have been countless attempts to define an artist. In modern times many naive men, considering the scientist to be of more importance, have tried to define him--with equally little success. The artist and scientist continue in opposition, yet their exact character remains undetermined.

The lords of University Hall are a resourceful lot. Confronted with this age-old problem, they remained undaunted. After a process of cerebration, law was established. In precise terms the distinction was made: "He who has not partaken of three years of Latin or one and one-half years of Greek is a scientist."

Thus the riddle has not only been solved, but solved beyond possibility of contradiction. Does the student of the fine arts rise to demand a place among artists? One glance in a ledger is sufficient to relegate the wretch to his proper place with the men of science. Thus controversy is eliminated. By one more wise regulation the honor of the administration has been vindicated.

It is true that many disadvantages arise from this masterstroke. The bachelor of science in history and literature is condemned to go through life accompanied by the jeers of the ignorant populace, who mistake him for some synthetic monster. Cries of "scientist" greet the Classicless music student as he sits at his piano. Nevertheless, the cause of efficiency is served. Harvard marches on, leading the world.