Multimedia
In Photos: Harvard’s 373rd Commencement Exercises
News
Rabbi Zarchi Confronted Maria Ressa, Walked Off Stage Over Her Harvard Commencement Speech
News
Former Harvard President Bacow, Maria Ressa to Receive Honorary Degrees at Commencement
News
‘A’ Game: How Harvard Recruits its Student-Athletes
News
Interim Harvard President Alan Garber Takes the Political Battle to Washington
Except for a few minor appearances this is my last great day of prognastication. In other years it was always my atonement day when I redeemed false decrees of previous games by predicting the inevitable victory over Yale. Then hard feelings were forgotten, lovely lucre was gathered in from New Haven, and every loyal Harvard man came back from the game saying. "Twas the work of the cooney Oriental."
But this year it is different. I too have gone through an undefeated season: my power has become supreme and the wizards of football have groveled at my feet begging for elemency. But despite all my omnipotence I have been wise and just. Today the epitome of my wisdom will be shown. Despite the three week layoff, the probable wet field, and the strain of being the favored team Harvard will come out on top by a 13 to 6 score.
Now the Sage bows and makes his exit. The trumpeters tremble as they blow farewell. Heels click as attention is called. A toast! Bottoms up! "Aye, he's off for Manchuria."
Want to keep up with breaking news? Subscribe to our email newsletter.