News

Harvard Grad Union Agrees To Bargain Without Ground Rules

News

Harvard Chabad Petitions to Change City Zoning Laws

News

Kestenbaum Files Opposition to Harvard’s Request for Documents

News

Harvard Agrees to a 1-Year $6 Million PILOT Agreement With the City of Cambridge

News

HUA Election Will Feature No Referenda or Survey Questions

BURNT OFFERING

NO WRITER ATTRIBUTED

Lord Jeff, 1922 edition, found himself in considerable not water when he tried to solve the problem of the younger generation by setting fire to the Freshmen. By a ruling of the faculty he was deprived of all cuts for the rest of the year and told in no uncertain terms that the word "small fry" is purely figurative. Somewhat taken aback he took refuge in communistic methods. Yesterday, however, in a saner moment, these were discarded for the better part of valour, which, as everyone knows, is discretion. As a result, it is heartwarming to hear that the faculty may in the near future have mercy on the whimsical joker.

Fire, once the plaything of the Gods, was said to have been presented to man by Prometheus, another victim of whimsy who also was chained and bound by an irate Jove. Man was appreciative, and remains so even to this day. The Dartmouth Freshmen are, for some reason or other, burning little green caps on the campus. It seems rather heathenish to continue to sacrifice to a pagan deity, but, after all it may be rather nice. At any rate, youth, consistent with ancient Greek precedent, does not fail to carry on the torch.

Want to keep up with breaking news? Subscribe to our email newsletter.

Tags