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Garber Privately Tells Faculty That Harvard Must Rethink Messaging After GOP Victory
Forecast is injured! Word arrived to this effect late yesterday evening from coastguards near Old Point Comfort. The telegram reads: "Harvard Crimson stop have in custody two men stop have given name of Forecast stop found floating in bay on empty cases stop elder in serious condition claims foul play by betting ring stop have asked us to communicate with you stop please advise. Sergeant Curdle, Coast Guard."
News of such a grave nature was not altogether unexpected. Attempts on the life of Joseph Forecast have been made in the past. Curb commissioners and agents of betting brokers have vowed that his activities will not continue. For three years, the gallant Forecast has battled grimly against the odds opposing him. His public has not gone unadvised. More than once he has been assisted from a Boston or Chelsea gutter bearing the marks of conflict. A week later his predictions have amazed gridiron thousands. There's no stopping Joe.
A guard has been authorized to escort the Forecasts to a Cambridge haven of safety.
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