I Can't Give You Anything But Love

To the Editor of the CRIMSON:

I beg to take issue with you on the recent denunciation in your columns of degree language requirements. May these indispensible accountrements of our college curricula forever remain aloof to scurrilous attacks of "Crime" editors. Possibly you would rejoice if you could eliminate everything connected with cerebral activity from college life. Serlously, your intellectual status is gravely questioned after the inane castigation in Thursday's edition on a revered feature of the Harvard educational ideal.

I ask you, is it rational to send out alleged Bachelors of Arts into the cold world without first having widened their perspective of it by acquaintance with languaged of other nations? Or if this angle of the subject is too remote to penetrate the recesses of your obtuse reuses, then consider but the economic aspect. Have you no hearts? Would'st rob our struggling instructors in French and German of their sole means of livelihood? Vision a typical pathetic case it your diabolical propaganda were allowed to take root, which God forbid.

The distressed wife of one of our now prosperous language teachers is surrounded by her squad of squalling shabby hungry offspring. She tries futilely to give comfort where only food is wanted. Their plaintive ululations pierce the receptive atmosphere and, wafted to the heavens, make the wolkin roar.

"Hush, Kinder," the mother murmurs, her voice choked with emotion, "Papa will soon be home. He will surely bring us bread."

Only partially appeased with this consoling thought, the infants tone down their vocal chorus to a mere whimper, and concentrate on the delectable vision conjured up by their mother's words. At last their vigil is rewarded and the familiar step of their progenitor echoes through the open transom. But as the door swings open upon the expectant group, one glance suffices to convey the dire truth that the father's quest has been in vain. Abstract knowledge is the only sustenance he has to offer in the eyes of the brave mother.

"Fortitude, mein Frau, fortitude", said the husband tenderly embrasing her, and ignoring the trenchant sobs of his children, which now rend the air with renewed vigor. "Suffer we must for the cause of education, so long as Imbecilic editors control its destinies. Soon will come a change, and the latent craving of youth for knowledge will once more be aroused in spite of those who would stifle this yearning forever".

The little woman nobly responds under the optimism of her learned mate and leads the way to the dinner table where the evening repast of water gruel is ready for distribution among the stricken troop.

And here let us draw the well over this touching scene. And let us forever look askance at any proposal to abolish the present language requirements from fair Harvard. (Name withheld by request.)

Editorial Note:

The CRIMSON'S correspondent, cloaking his argumentum ad hominem under the modest concealment of a requested anonymity, has shown, besides a certain orthographic freedom, a failure to read the editorial in question. The nucleus of the editorial reads:

"(a) The courses in French and German which fulfill the reading requirement are now taken by the majority for that purpose alone.

(b) The present mechanical nature of their value might be profitably altered by a reshaping of each course either to a rough reading outline of the nation's literature, or to a reading survey of the brighter contemporaries."