ATHLETICS FOR EARL

Earl Carroll is reported in today' issue of this paper as preparing to treat an entirely new phase of the athletic situation. If this is true, and who but a federal judge would doubt it, he is going to absurd lengths to put the idea over. Anyone who can shed new light on athletics has little need for fifty proven strong men to help him. He should be writing for the newspapers. Single handed he could command a larger sum for a single Sunday appearance than his whole stage full of helpers will attract in a winter. The daily Sartores Resarti of the sport situation support unnumbered experts; a new phase of athletics would be a wow even though as untailored as any Vanities that ever trod a board.

Perhaps, however, Mr. Carroll no longer heeds the jingling of the guinea but merely contemplates reform. If he plans the replacement of the traditional shower by the more famous bath-tub, he is doomed to disappointment; champagne instead of water perhaps, but tubs instead of showers,--never. A possible novelty would seem to be the production of an athletic show in which the heroine did not invade the locker room in order to embrace the all-American fullback. Here is something worth considering, but it is to be feared that the author of so many Vanities will never neglect a good dressing room scene. A real contribution is in sight, on the other hand, if he succeeds in making his athletes dance through their formations without first shouting a series of numbers at them or calling a huddle in the middle of the stage. Coaches will do well to keep their eyes on the Vanities.