PRO PATRIA

Recently a Californian, one Bernick Linden, made the supreme sacrifice of the booster, and killed himself in Los Angeles, it may be said without irreverence, that others might live in San Diego. This was no deadly jest. For San Diego had a higher suicide rate than its rival, a higher rate, in fact, than any other place in the country. In a region where life is nothing but beautiful girls in bathing suits, and sunny days, existence was too exquisitely delightful, and people were killing themselves out of pure joy on every hand. But Mr. Linden with remarkable insight saw that strangers who were not familiar with lithographic sections might attribute these wilful demises to other motives, and not settle in the city. So Bernick went to Los Angeles, penned his explanation and turned on the gas.

Gladly would Mr. Linden have given more lives to balance the figures of statisticians, but all that he had, he gave, their boosters have sold their souls for their cities, but here is the first man worthy of beatification. The people of Los Angeles will cry that he was bribed shamefully to smirch their reputation, but that is an attitude of cavilling envy. And, indeed, as long as there remains exalted ideas to which a man may consecrate his very life, the charge that modern materialism makes existence crass will thus be nullified.