News

Ukrainian First Lady Olena Zelenska Talks War Against Russia At Harvard IOP

News

Despite Disciplinary Threats, Pro-Palestine Protesters Return to Widener During Rally

News

After 3 Weeks, Cambridge Public Schools Addresses Widespread Bus Delays

News

Years of Safety Concerns Preceded Fatal Crash on Memorial Drive

News

Boston to Hold Hearing Over Uncertain Future of Jackson-Mann Community Center

Essenz von Bierschaum, Feathered Feminine Editor of the Advocate, to Manage Candidates--Has Choice Vocabulary

NO WRITER ATTRIBUTED

"Certainly I'm a regular editor of the Advocate," declared Essenz von Bierschaum, the Advocate parrot, when interviewed yesterday by a CRIMSON reporter, and emphasized her statement with a resounding phrase from her nautical past that the reporter felt forced to censor.

The gentle bird was acquired by the Advocate last spring and amuses the members of the board at all meetings with appropriate remarks at the right intervals.

She has just returned from her vacation spent on a brigantine out of Marseilles, and is rumored to be writing a series of articles for the Advocate on her past as a parrot lady-sailor.

When asked whether she preferred students to sailors, she replied in the affirmative although she is inclined to think that they are more or less similar in some regards.

"Yes," the editress went on, "I believe in Cal Coolidge, Boston beans, and free beer. I did not visit any place this summer where prohibition had been heard of."

"Isn't Essenz a rather masculine name?" timidly inquired the reporter. "My friends call me Essenezza of course," she said, "but you, young man are," and the rest of her remarks were too pointed to be repeated. "Yes," she went on, "I intend to handle the new candidates personally when they come around this evening, and I intend to start a campaign for supplying better bird seed to the Freshman Dining Halls."

"What about this rumor regarding Pegasus?" suggested the reporter but her reply convinced him of the inadequacy of his vocabulary to cope with the situation, and he hasilly took his departure, salvaging such of his copy as he could from the enraged lady's beak and claws.

Want to keep up with breaking news? Subscribe to our email newsletter.

Tags