News

Ukrainian First Lady Olena Zelenska Talks War Against Russia At Harvard IOP

News

Despite Disciplinary Threats, Pro-Palestine Protesters Return to Widener During Rally

News

After 3 Weeks, Cambridge Public Schools Addresses Widespread Bus Delays

News

Years of Safety Concerns Preceded Fatal Crash on Memorial Drive

News

Boston to Hold Hearing Over Uncertain Future of Jackson-Mann Community Center

BOB LAMPOON LAMENTS LOSS OF ELM TREE "30 FOOT HIGH"

"Never Did No Harm" Is Plaint for Apple of His Eye

NO WRITER ATTRIBUTED

Since the mysterious obstruction of the Jester's elm last week, Bob Lampoon its guardian and water carrier standing in Joco parents has been a victim to melancholia some say hypochondria Yesterday breaking a long silence he uttered a few words to a CRIMSON news gatherer.

"Tell the public" he whisper" that Bob done his best. It was a mean trick. Why that little tree never did no harm It was a ornament to the community!

"I tell you I wouldn't like to be the man what done in it when he comes to the gate of heaven and Mr. Wheelwright is standing there and says Are you the one what out down Bob's little elm? No I wouldn't trade places with him then for two thirds of a million dollars; no not for three fourths of a million!

"I've been getting letters from all over the country complaining about the people who cut down Sophia. That's what I called my elm just between ourselves you understand. Thirty feet high she grew then last Wednesday Bob could not continue.

Lampoon officials asserted yesterday that no other tree will replace the amputated elm.

Want to keep up with breaking news? Subscribe to our email newsletter.

Tags