Atlantic Ocean Doesn't Mean a Thing to the Hill Billies of Hawg Eye and Nellie's Apron--Ozark Sage a "Smart Un"

"This here's Hawg Eye, air y'u lost?" Such was the soul harrowing information garnered by C. G. Croncis, an assistant in the Paleontology department of the University, when he ventured a question of a group of bill billies after losing his way on a motor trip through the Ozark Mountains last summer.

"Five or six young boys had gathered around my car when I stopped," related Mr. Croneis to a CRIMSON reporter last night, "and were attempting to spell out my Massachusetts license plate.

"Finally one of them, a youth about sixteen spoke up: I reckon I know what y'u air from Mister. Y'u air from Mississippi stet."

"No, I told him. I'm from Massachusetts. They all locked bewildered and a bit incredulous. I explained Massachusetts as on the New England coast, by the Atlantic Ocean.

"After a moment of silence, the youth evidently the spokesman, inquired in a suspicion tone, What's the Atlantic Ocean?"

"I was somewhat appalled and asked the youth if they all went to school, and if they had a teacher. He bridled at this and said, Shore we got a teacher, his name's John McCormick".

"Oh, I said facetiously, I've eard of John McCormick".

"I ain't surprised, returned the youth he's smart un, ho is, J bet he could tell y'u what the Atlantic Ocean is!".

"Confidence, I asked the way to the next town, and was shown the road to 'Nelli's Aprin' the local metropolis, a village of 150 inhabitauts. I discovered that other settlements in te vicinity were named 'Skylight FiftySix', and Hamstring!".