News
Summers Will Not Finish Semester of Teaching as Harvard Investigates Epstein Ties
News
Harvard College Students Report Favoring Divestment from Israel in HUA Survey
News
‘He Should Resign’: Harvard Undergrads Take Hard Line Against Summers Over Epstein Scandal
News
Harvard To Launch New Investigation Into Epstein’s Ties to Summers, Other University Affiliates
News
Harvard Students To Vote on Divestment From Israel in Inaugural HUA Election Survey
Apropos of the recent discussion at Harvard concerning cheer-leading, it is amusing to, note that other universities are finding the matter something of a problem. At the University of Washington, where noise exhorters are known as "yell kings", the proposal is now put forth to select the aspirants for the honor on the same basis as managerial candidates.
The college daily outlines editorially a plan whereby all embryonic yell kings must cheer conspicuously and loudly for three years. At the end of this period, those who have not swallowed their tonsils, split their larynx, or died, from apoplexy undoubtedly have, as a result of the workings of the Law of the Adaptation of Species, developed platinum-lined throats and lungs. Surely such men well deserve the title of yell kings, for they are capable of yelling, and yelling, and then yelling again.
And how practical to undergo this training! When they graduate from the university, they need only open their months and roar with that lusty volume developed on the gridiron, where the embattled players stood. Their bellows will be a shout heard round the world, and all the baseball umpires, hash slingers, train announcers, and senators will muffle their cars in terrified haste. The yell king's thunder is their doom, for only the fittest can survive. He who yells loudest yells best and becomes a superman.
Want to keep up with breaking news? Subscribe to our email newsletter.