Crimson Nine Certain to Overwhelm Lampoon Filth Editors in Annual Baseball Game Today--Nihilist Dube to Umpire

The big event of the baseball season is scheduled for this afternoon at Soldiers Field when the CRIMSON meets the low-minded lampoon at 2 o'clock. Sport experts predict that the CRIMSON will have little trouble in trouncing the filth editors by the traditional score of 23 to 2.

Bob Lampoon 2G.B., veteran twirler of the paper which bears his name has been practicing in his back lot for weeks. He has boasted that he will be able to hold the powerful CRIMSON nine to 22 runs, but in view of his poor support, this hardly seems probable. The lampoon has elected no athletes to its fold since 1923.

The CRIMSON battery will be composed of Richard Dyer 4E.S. and John Fitzpatrick '27, spported in the infield by J.L. Caughey '25, W.I. Nichols '26, J.L. Prescott '27 and Eduardo Andrade '28.g

Because of its recent debauches and abhorrent practices the lampoon is not expected to just up much of a fight. They expect to make the trip to the field in a taily-ho, which will be used after the gaine to take the casualties to the infirmary. Ashamed to appear in public after their abominable carnpaign of fifth, the Mount Anburn Street, wastrels will be dressed in queer outlandish costumes. On the other hand, the CRIMSON will appear in neat back and white.

The famous Joe Dube, last fall a candidate for the Vice-Presidency of the United States on the Nihilist ticket, will umpire the game from a safe distance.

Crimson traditional features of fifty years, and never has the CRIMSON failed to win 23 to 2. Although this year there will be no informal bar at third base as in pre-Volstead days, there is no reason to believe that the lampoon will be able to stand up and better against the CRIMSON attack.