JOE FORECAST'S BIG IDEA

The CRIMSON office has been kept so busy with inquiries by telegraph, telephone, and mail asking why Joe Forecast's football knowledge is not being made use of by the University coaching staff, that Joe has finally been prevailed upon to divulge the secret, sore spot though it is with him. He gave exclusively to the CRIMSON last night the following official statement:

"I have been called an arch-traitor to my college for declining to assist the football coaching staff this fall. Resenting this charge, I wish to state my case to an unprejudiced world, and I will let the CRIMSON readers, intelligent and fairminded as I know them to be, judge its merits.

"I stifled my disappointment over being forgotten at the time the head coach was appointed and offered Mr. Fisher my assistance. (Back home in Shemokin they always called me Big Hearted Joe). In fact I gave the coaches a play which, if used, would insure Harvard a sweeping victory in every game. And what did they do with it? They laughed at it just as a year ago they laughed at my boomerang pass which came back into the passer's arms, completely mystifying the opposition.

"Forestalling possible sneering questions from CRIMSON readers, I will explain my play in full, reckless of the confusion it may throw into Fisher's camp. I have worked it out mathematically and proved that it will work.

"The play is this: The Harvard team lines up with Miller, who weighs 200 pounds and can run 100 yards in ten seconds, back of his own goal. The ball is passed back to him, the number of backward passes depending upon the position of the line of scrimmage (four will usually suffice.) Receiving it, he starts running at top-speed in circles, gradually widening until he crosses the enemy goal line. The duty of the other Harvard men is to keep out of his way. I have proved mathematically that he cannot be stopped. My formula follows: 200 lbs x 32 ft. per sec. x 3.1416./100 yds. x 11 Holy Cross Players.

Equals 1 Touchdown.

The 32 ft. per sec. per sec. represents gravity, and is put in to prove this is not supposed to be humorous.

Joe was so wrought up when he completed his statement that he almost forgot to leave us his week's forecast, but upon being reminded he left the following table:

Yale 7, Pennsylvania 3

Navy 17, Princeton 9.

Dartmouth 26, Maine 0.

Brown 34, Bates 0.

West Point 14, Notre Dame 7.

Boston College 33, Boston University 0