HA, HA!

The American mobocracy, having destroyed all personal tyrants, delights to impose the tyranny of custom upon itself. The latest outrage is a strict order that all good Americans must discard their winter footgear by the first of May, if they dare to appear upon the streets. The annual straw hat joke is perpetrated so thoroughly that to the vulgar mind a soft hat seems ridiculous after a certain date. Advertising and the mob's fear of itself have set this barbaric custom beyond the reach of common sense. If the boot and shoe dealers succeed in their resolution of attaching another lichen to the American moss-back, he on this side of the Atlantic will soon be unbearable.

It is likely that the handkerchief dealers will decree a fresh supply of linen every two weeks. The toothbrush vendors will set Monday aside as the day to overhaul the masticators. So many apple weeks, good books, anti-Red, prohibition, old clothes, old home, and old bottles weeks have been added to the calendar of the suffering citizen, that a few more will be distinctly a propos: a non-advertising week, a non-convention year, a death-to-Arrow-collar-men week, and unlimited-cuts week-all these and more, spelled out in capitals, would en it on the year, and make the time go faster in this country which is so bored with liberty that it destroys it upon the slightest opportunity.