Champagne Bottles Unearthed in Massachusetts Hall Offer Insoluble Mystery but Arouse Much Conjecture

A new mystery has appeared to puzzle the learned heads of the University!

It is the mystery of two champagne bottles recently unearthed by the workmen engaged in remodelling the interior of Massachusetts Hall. The two sinful bottles were discovered reposing side by side in a rusted tin tub at the bottom of an unused and forgotten well under the southeast corner of the old building. They were handed over to Mr. C. R. Apted, Superintendent of Caretakers.

How old are the bottles? It is impossible to tell. The labels are long since obliterated and washed away. Old glass experts and champagne bottle connoisseurs deduce from the texture of the glass that they are at least 50 years old and in all probability well over a hundred.

Who drank from them and under what circumstances? No one can ever know. Were the sparkling contents a forbidden delight furtively drunk by Puritan students of two centureis ago? Were they imbibed by Continental soldiers who were quartered in the hall during the Revolution? Did they serve to enliven some solemn Phi Bets Kappa dinner held there in the last century.

Massachusetts Hall is 206 years old, and the two centuries of its history furnish many possible conjectures. But no one will ever know.