GROSS FLATTERY

The college man is always a prominent and perfectly suitable target for criticism but rarely has he received so many poisonous shafts from a single hand as from Dr. Albert Parker Fitch, erstwhile professor at Amherst College. It has required nearly a week to regain articulateness, although recovery was considerably sided when the curious fact was perceived that the curious fact was perceived that the character given the student by Dr. Fitch combines all of the attributes ordinarily associated by the undergraduate with the ideal man of the world.

To be specific--which is the delight of Dr. Fitch.--the college youths read "frothy stories". One might comment that Dr. Fitch's adjective was chosen with admirable restraint. And "they are strong on college games, gassip and athletics." This is nothing but pure flattery. It was intended, no doubt to salve the sting of the arrows. "They regard their professors with a mild and benevolent indifference." This at any rate goes too far. There is certainly nothing the college man would rather do; but, except with a few exceedingly superior persons, this ambition has been but lamely realized. It is much too difficult to acquire such philosophic poise when these same professors wield a power over one's destiny comparable to the of the notable Kublai Khan, or the former Caliph of Bagbad.

Several times, it is true, Dr. Fitch insults one's intelligence. For example, when he says that "They think that they were sent to college to make money or to get married" he assumes that college men do not realize that it is obviously, a simple matter to achieve both of these triumphs without any education at all. That is an axiom of American history. And "they swear like pirates because their vocabularies are so limited that they have no other means of expression". After all, this reflection on one's vocabulary is only a sly shot at the college author fair target but there are certainly occasions, which Dr. Fitch neglects, on which anything but solid, sturdy. Anglo-Saxon profanity would be inappropriate and since these occasions are by no means rare in college days, proficiency in the art should be a point of pride. It is a poor compliment to the college man that his best awarding should be likened to the rude, uneducated and really embryonic curses of the pirate.