News

Garber Announces Advisory Committee for Harvard Law School Dean Search

News

First Harvard Prize Book in Kosovo Established by Harvard Alumni

News

Ryan Murdock ’25 Remembered as Dedicated Advocate and Caring Friend

News

Harvard Faculty Appeal Temporary Suspensions From Widener Library

News

Man Who Managed Clients for High-End Cambridge Brothel Network Pleads Guilty

Max Keezer, Harvard Square Immortal, Is Dissatisfied With Life--Declares He Was "Made for Better Things"

NO WRITER ATTRIBUTED

Life for Max Keezer, famed vender of second hand clothes in Harvard Square, is filled with sadness for the present and vain regrets for the past, it was revealed yesterday when he unburdened his soul to a sympathetic CRIMSON candidate.

"Business is getting worse and worse every year," he declared as he began his pessimistic discourse. "The college boys are going in town now more than ever to buy their clothes, and besides the college is buying up all the buildings around Harvard Square.

Though a pessimist at heart, Max declared that he endeavored to be kind and considerate to his fellow men.

"Even though a man comes into my store dressed in rags," he said, "I always thing of what he might have been if he had had a chance. I never judge a man by his clothes."

Turning to the subject of his own life history, he declared: "I started out selling shoe laces when eight years old, and gradually rose to be a tailor's assistant. When I was 17.1 set up a business of my own, and have gradually expanded it until now I sell my clothes to farmers all over the country at $20 less than my nearest rival."

"But I was made for better things," he exclaimed. "If I had my life to live over again, I would never think of entering the clothing business. Medicine was the career for me. Why I meet some doctors around town that think me a wonder:"

Max Keezer is of Anglo-Dutch stock, and revealed how close he had come to prominence when he boasted that his grandmother's brother once had a fortune of 175 millions.

"Dollars?" inquired the candidate.

"No, guilders," admitted Mr. Keezer.

Want to keep up with breaking news? Subscribe to our email newsletter.

Tags