SCIENTIFIC NONSENSE

Vanity Fair started it. And to Vanity Fair belongs the praise. But science is doing no little to advance the "Society to Advertise the Errors and Ridicule the Pretensions of Science". Nothing could have been more opportune than for science to demonstrate its errors and pretensions.

Juiceless grapefruit, absorbless shock absorbers, and ageless glands are among the most successful past demonstrations of this kind. And now science claims to be on the eve of discovering how to make gold. Alchemy in all its glory never advanced beyond this stage. As a pretension, therefore, this announcement will be flouted by the "Society" until gold is actually produced from quicksilver.

After that, it becomes an error. With gold factories springing up all about, gold will become as valuable for monetary use as tin. This will give William Jennings Bryan an opportunity to run for President again on a "Free Silver" platform. And for these catastrophes the nation will have science to thank.