MOURNFUL NUMBERS

A somewhat choleric gentleman, who had with difficulty located his seat in Sanders Theatre last Monday, remarked in a tone that all might hear: "That usher doesn't know what he is doing." The irate gentleman did not exaggerate--the usher knew even less than did the former the location of his seat. He was "catching on" rapidly, but was still entirely dependent on beginner's luck.

Yet the fault was not that of the usher. He had reported to the marshal as soon as the doors were opened, had been immediately assigned to an aisle in the first gallery, and almost before he could hang us his coat had been swamped by a rush of spectators. Then he discovered that the seats were numbered as no seats ever were numbered before. A lightning calculation could not have figured out the location of any one seat; a search was necessary--like that for the needle in a haystack. For example--in the first gallery the seats in sections C and D were as follows, beginning at the top: C  D 1-16  7-17 17-31  18-33 32-45  34-48 46-58  49-62

--and so on. From the rail, looking up, the numbers in the left-hand section run toward the aisle, while in the right-hand section they run away from the aisle. Furthermore, the rows are all uneven so that the numbers do not break even on the aisle seats. Finally--but one must have ushered to understand the difficulties.

All of which leads us to suggest that Tradition be overthrown and Precedent be smashed. Before we welcome another visitor let us have the seats numbered according to some comprehensible system. The alternative is to break in some Freshmen who, by the time they reach their Senior year, may possibly have become efficient ushers in Sanders.

--and so on. From the rail, looking up, the numbers in the left-hand section run toward the aisle, while in the right-hand section they run away from the aisle. Furthermore, the rows are all uneven so that the numbers do not break even on the aisle seats. Finally--but one must have ushered to understand the difficulties.

All of which leads us to suggest that Tradition be overthrown and Precedent be smashed. Before we welcome another visitor let us have the seats numbered according to some comprehensible system. The alternative is to break in some Freshmen who, by the time they reach their Senior year, may possibly have become efficient ushers in Sanders.