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8 Takeaways From Harvard’s Task Force Reports

NO MORE ZERO WEATHER

NO WRITER ATTRIBUTED

One of our most esteemed contemporaries in Boston assured us last night after making a thorough investigation of weather conditions of the past few centuries that zero weather was over for a year as far as this neighborhood was concerned. Statistics show that the overwhelming majority of University students has its legal residence in the only Commonwealth in America, but in regard to the prophecy made by our Boston friend everyone in Cambridge claims to hail from a certain state in the Southwest. We do not wish to be foolishly skeptical, but seeing is believing, and until the warm winds of summer are with us we shall be anything but reassured. We had almost been persuaded to believe that the Teutonic assertion, "Gott mit uns," was well founded.

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