WARRING FACTIONS TO CLASH

After a brief and decidedly unfriendly interchange of notes, diplomatic relations between the CRIMSON and the Lampoon have been broken off. Count Ibis, Lampian ambassador to the Court of St. Plympton, last Monday presented to the CRIMSON Foreign Secretary for Hockey a message, the tone of which utterly shattered all rules of international etiquette. The Kaiser of all the Crimsons, while regretting that he was thus forced into hostilities, answered immediately with a declaration of war. Count Ibis was given his passports yesterday morning, and a mobilization of the Crimson forces was begun at once.

Both armies have been brought up to war strength with startling rapidity. They are at present approaching the Charles River from different angles, and it is expected that they will clash at Stadiumrink some time this afternoon, probably about 3.30, weather permitting.

The CRIMSON army will be led to the attack by General von Stein. This superb array of fighting men, consisting of four colonels, five majors and a private, will have little trouble in disposing of the few stragglers who will fight for the Lampoon. Cold reason and past experience lead to the expectation of a staggering victory for the CRIMSON.