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(Not by Henry James, Junior.)
The Public Orator at Cambridge has written an address of congratulation in Latin, to Harvard University, on the 250th anniversary of the latter's foundation. At a wine party recently held at Trinity College it was unanimously and hilariously decided that the Undergraduates of England ought to send greeting to the Undergraduates of America at the same time. The following address was at once drawn up;
CARISSIMI JOHNNIES TRANSATLANTICI, - Audimus vos vivere in altero Cambrigio Americanio, quod nos vapulat ut specialiter rummum. Sentimus tamen obligati mittere advosfraternas congratulationes in hac auspiciosa occasione anniversarii vestri. Non novimus antea aliquam rem in America esse tam antiquam quam duo centum anni, sed vos cognoscitis optime circumid.
Orator Publicus noster concoxit nullum finem floridae orationis ad vestros Donnos, quam, ut nos sumus parati deponere, decem ad unum in equalis, illi nunquam capient laborem legere. Prope viam, appellatisne illos homires "Donnos" in America? Nos facimus. Audivimus quoque vos non habere flumen simile nostro, quod est perfecta bestia fluminis, sed unum primae classis. Per Jovem vos estis diabolice fortunati.
Habetisne Proctores, odiosos Virorum oppressores? Si ita, vestri Proctores euntne swaggerantes circa cum feris canibus Molossis, quos appellamus "Bull dogs?" Nostri id faciunt aliquibus temporibus, lugemus dicere. Sed non ita difficile est evadere ex illorum via Probabiliter habetis eandem idioticam systeman examinationum in qua nos gaudemus. Prope viam, quod est vestrum "Parvum Ite" simile ad, et dum estis in statu pupillari, estisne condemnati induere habitum semi-via inter bibum infantis, coloratum nigrum et adfixum tergo, et immundum pannum cujosdam coqui?
Nune valete, quoniam odimus scribere in Latino, id est ita fatigans. Habemus quoque premens engagementum cras ad Nevem Emporium, antiquam urbem Romanorum prope hoc. Sed cogitavimus ut debemus ostentare ad vos quomodo faciliter possumus exsecare nostrum Publicnm Oratorem, qui non cogi???a parva tubera sui styli Latini. Nostri respectus ad LOWELLUM qui est unum de nosfris D.C.L's, et circa optimum, ut credimus.
DUODECIM
UNDERGRADS CANTABRIDGIENSIS.
Datam Idibus Oct. (?)
A. U. C. (Datum non notum.)
London Punch.
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