WAITERS.

THEY had just arrived at the Profile House, and were sitting down to their first meal, when the younger of the two ladies exclaimed: "Why! look there, mother, at the next table."

A gentlemanly young waiter was in the act of opening a bottle of champagne; he had succeeded in hitting the gentleman opposite on the forehead with the cork, and was now spilling the foam on a lady's dress. Undoubtedly he would have poured out the whole contents of the bottle, but it accidentally slipped from his hand and fell on her foot. With many good-natured apologies, he kicked the bottle under the table and went away to get another. He was an Oshkosh Senior.

A Junior now made his appearance, struggling with a large tray, covered with dishes and food. A cup of tea climbed over the edge and was shat tered on the floor; without a moment's hesitation he dropped the tray and tried to save the cup. The attempt was unsuccessful, although a corner of the tray scraped an old gentleman's ear nearly off. Smiling sweetly, the Junior mopped up the floor with his silk pocket-handkerchief.

Soon a Sophomore attracted every one's attention. After waiting on the two ladies who had just arrived, he proceeded to sit on the edge of the table and open a friendly conversation with them. Naturally they were greatly surprised, and one asked him to pass her the pepper, hoping that he would get down from the table. But he tried to reach it without moving from his place, and suddenly the table turned over.

He blushed exceedingly, but was soon freed from his embarrassment, as he saw a Freshman manipulate a chair on which a lady was about to sit. He pulled the chair out and then pushed it back, but the lady was too quick, or he was too slow, and, as the edge of the chair met her back, she uttered a loud shriek. Terror-stricken, he seized her by an arm and jerked it frantically. His colleagues ran to his assistance. The unfortunate lady was, in a moment, lifted up and forcibly seated on the chair. But now a general indignation arose against the unhappy waiters, and they were hurled down from the top of a precipice near by.

CAMBRIDGE, March 7.To the Sec. of the Columbia College B. C.

DEAR SIR, - The Harvard University B. C. hereby challenges the Columbia College B. C. to row an eight-oared, four-mile, straight-away race at such time, on such course, and under such conditions as shall hereafter be mutually agreed upon.

Yours truly,

CHAS. P. CURTIS, Jr.,Sec. of H. U. B. C.