GO AND DO THOU NOT LIKEWISE.

AND now doth the young man of the class that is called Sof om oar array himself in purple and fine linen, and, with a face shining as the sun, save where it is marred by a hurried shave, he hasteneth to the house of music and the dance, and sayeth, "Go to; now will I enjoy myself, eat, drink, and be a masher;" and lo, as he entereth the chamber of the dance, he perceiveth even afar off a maiden of the tribes that dwell beyond the Hudson, - yea, even on the shores of the great seas have they set up their tabernacles, - and lo, the maiden is fair, yea, passing fair to look upon. And the young man seeketh the owner of the house and is presented, which in the language of Kayhmbryjje is knocked down, and it were better for the young man that he were indeed deposited on the ground in a place where no man should come unto him. For lo, the maiden is what is called in the tongue of the Philistines, fresh, and loveth beyond all things to snub, which, translated, is sit upon the hopes of youthful genius. And verily, to the young man's questions she returneth answers which are as naught, and the young man runneth through his stock of conversation and no one will come to help him; and lo, to a saying of the young man that the garlands that deck the feast are of exceeding beauty, she respondeth that without the snow is falling, and of a verity it was falling, for the day was exceeding cold, and the young man wist not how it was. And behold, when the young man pauseth for breath doth she make a sound of singing, and the song is such as no man ever heard before. And now doth she ask the young man if his years are many, for she guesseth that not yet hath he attained a half-score years and ten, and the young man is very sorrowful; but anon he taketh up courage, and he scenteth the battle like the war-horse, and he demandeth of the maiden whether she be yet free from the bonds of the school-mistress, and lo, the maiden is abashed, and the young man rejoiceth, and shouteth "Ha! ha!" and verily the day feels warmer, and he followeth up the attack with a demand to know the name of her instructress in Sunday School, and if this be the first time that she hath disported herself in the giddy dance at the house of one that is known unto her; and lo, the scoffs of the maiden are as a broken reed, and the young man presenteth a sub-Freshman, and leaveth with a smile, and loudly he sweareth that no emphasized maiden from the land that is towards the setting sun shall again get the drop on him. And lo, the weather was exceeding cold.

BINGO.