TO MY FRIEND PROFESSOR X.

When you shall cease to make bad puns,

Expecting all to smile;

When you shall give a cut or two

Just every little while;

When you'll refrain from bitter jokes

On those who errors make;

When you'll regard us all as men,

And not for children take;

When you'll confess you cannot mark

Within a half per cent;

When you'll dismiss us punctually

Just as the hour is spent;

When you don't give us forty books

Not in the usual line,

To read by way of reference, -

Then be my valentine.

Alas! reformers are bound to get hard knocks in this world, and at the very next recitation, Professor X, in assigning the lesson, told us that he had reserved eleven more books at the Library, which we should find interesting. Evils such as these can't be cured by a valentine.

REY.